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Catholic Priest

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Explore Being a Catholic Priest with Emiel Abalahin

cz:Briefly describe your job.


I help people to recognize and experience the great love God has for them, to help them to heal. I help the Church as a whole to remain faithful to Christ. I help to serve the local church community at St. Jude Church to help them to worship God and pray. I minister to the sick and the elderly and work with our young people in our “Lifeteen” group. I also conduct discussion groups on the Catholic Christian faith for the Newman Club, a Catholic youth group on the Florida Atlantic University campus.

cz:How long have you been working in this field?

I was ordained into the priesthood in July 2006. Before that I was a Brother for five years. I was a diocesan seminarian before this. I studied there for four years. .

cz:When and how did you decide to choose this career?

I moved to England when I was 21 years old and worked in computer operations. I hated my job because it was really boring, and I, like most of the people in the office, worked only to enjoy the weekends. At the same time, I was challenged by my faith. I didn’t know if I believed it anymore. I used to go to a church in the town where I was living, but I became angry because it seemed like some of the priests were only interested in money. I left the Church for three years, trying to find myself. Eventually, I went back to the Church and realized that they had a new priest. He was a good and caring person who also didn’t tolerate any nonsense. He noticed me hanging around the church on my days off, so he invited me to help out with small jobs that needed doing. I got a chance to see him working with other people, and it sparked MY interest in helping other people. I thought to myself, I really don’t want to be a priest, but I would like to help people just like him. 
I finally got so tired of my job that I felt I needed a change. I decided to go to the seminary to figure out what I REALLY wanted to do with my life. A seminary is a place where men go to study to be priests. I thought the people at the seminary must be really nice if they are like my priest friend. Maybe they can help me to figure out what I am supposed to do. As I stayed at the seminary, I realized that I did not belong there, but I felt that I was supposed to live a similar kind of life. That’s when I realized that maybe I had to check out religious life. 
I read all about religious life, I prayed about it, and I studied it. I was really attracted to the Carmelite religious order for many reasons. The main reason is that our spirituality is focused on developing an intimate relationship with God, and helping others to do the same. Another reason is that it helped me to realize the depth of God’s love for me and all people. Yet another reason is that many different people belong to our order: men, women, married people, single people, and we are all one family. Coming from a big family myself, I feel that this is an important aspect of living my life.

cz:What education and training did you receive before entering your field?


Everyone entering this field has to earn an undergraduate degree. Most people study philosophy. I had an AA degree from a community college, and then received the remainder of my undergraduate education in Philosophy in Rome. 
When I applied to the seminary, I had to go through a week-long interview. The process included: a psychological and aptitude test with a psychologist, an IQ test, and an interview before a board with a priest and two other non-religious people about my experience and level of interest in becoming a priest. Especially nowadays, they don’t accept just anybody into the seminary. If you are not a mentally, emotionally, and psychologically healthy person, the chances are that you will not be accepted to enter the seminary. In the end, I was sent to Rome to study. Rome is for those who show a high degree of intelligence, aptitude, and career promise. All of the studies are done in Italian, which can be quite a challenge! A lot of bishops and cardinals (leaders of the Catholic Church) studied in Rome, at the same university I studied, which is kind of cool. My university has been around since 1548, not long after the Americas were discovered. 
Living in Rome is very exciting, but I was scared, because I was the only American guy in a house of all Englishmen and one woman. All of the men had studied at Oxford or Cambridge. These men were top class individuals. All I had was my AA degree and an unfinished bachelor’s degree I’d started in England. I wasn’t as confident in my vocation and in myself. 
The seminary challenges everything—your faith, your personal identity, your sexuality, your faithfulness to yourself and to God, and your intellect. It is like a boot camp. If they don’t make candidates go through this training and testing, we end up with bad priests. At the same time, they try to help a candidate to develop their relationship with God, and their love of the Church and the people in it. It is a very challenging time, so seminarians need all of the help they can get. One way they get this help is through a “Spiritual Director”. A spiritual director is a priest or another person who has been trained to help people in their spiritual development. They have some psychological and a lot of spiritual training. They help people to see where God is speaking to them in their life, by going deeply into the person’s experience and seeing the areas where God is blessing them, and where God needs to heal them. On the whole, then, if the process at the seminary is working right, the person will know himself much more deeply, and will decide for himself whether he is called to be a priest or not. When the formation process does its job, not every person who enters the seminary will become a priest. I decided that I was not supposed to be a diocesan priest. 
Religious formation is a little bit different from the diocesan seminary. Our focus is the transformation of the person, rather than simply challenging or testing them. We begin by entering the pre-novitiate. The pre-novitiate is a house where people who are interested in becoming religious people go to live, to test out whether or not they want to live this kind of life. It is just as rigorous as the diocesan seminary, in that all aspects of our personality are challenged, and we are encouraged to also challenge ourselves. Also during this time, we can earn our undergraduate degree in Philosophy, or, if we already have our undergraduate, we can begin our graduate studies in Theology. This phase can last for a minimum of 1 year. At the end of this time, both we and those in charge of the religious community decide if we are to go forward to the next step in formation, which is the novitiate. 
The novitiate lasts one year, and during this time, one undergoes an intense period of study about the religious life, and intense period of prayer. It is during this time that you receive your uniform, called the “habit.” At this time, we live with the same people 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We learn how to live with others in community, with the help of a psychologist, who comes in once every two weeks. We go for classes two days a week with other men and women who are studying to be religious, and we have class every morning until lunch. During Lent, the 40 days before Easter, we live in complete silence, even at meal times. We do not watch television or go out, except to go to class or to work. We spend our days and nights in prayer during this time. If everything goes well, at the end of the year, we are invited to make our temporary vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience for three years. 
The next step in formation is to live in a religious community, and do some sort of work, either in a church, a school, or a retreat house. We do this for at least 1 year, just to have some experience of what it is like to be a religious person helping other people. We have houses in New York, New Jersey, and Florida, where we can be sent to live. At the end of this, we go to Washington DC to our study house, Whitefriars Hall. We normally spend 4 years in Washington DC studying to get a masters degree in divinity. During this time, we make our perpetual vows to be religious. If we want to, and the leaders of our community and our province agree, we can become ordained to be deacons, then priests. Not everyone is called to be a priest, but if we are, there are small steps on the way to becoming one. 
The first step is toward priesthood is lectorate, where you are allowed to be a reader in any Catholic church in the world. The next step is candidacy, which means that you are officially accepted as a candidate to be ordained to the priesthood. Then comes acolytate, which means you can serve at the altar of any Catholic church in the world. After this is the transitional diaconate, in which you are officially ordained to be a member of the clergy. This phase can last for at least 6 months. After this, and the completion of all of the masters degree in divinity, we can be ordained to the priesthood.

cz:How did you begin OR What was your first job in the field?

My first job was teaching religious education with another seminarian to kindergarteners in Italy. It was challenging, trying to make their education fun. I learned to be creative. I also learned how to simplify everything that I was being taught. It was almost as if I was learning a completely new language! The children also seem to have a very simple and clear understanding of God that we seem to lose as we get older.

cz:Describe a typical day on the job?


Generally, the day begins with prayer, about an hour. After this, I go to Mass, and then have Morning Prayer (a reading of the psalms) with my religious brothers and with the other people in the church. The rest of the morning is spent studying, doing spiritual direction, or visiting the sick and the elderly. 
At lunch time, I can go home, or stay and do some more work. One day a week, I go to FAU to lead the Catholic discussion group there. Anyone is welcomed to attend, whether they are Catholic or not. Because of this, the discussions can be quite interesting! 
In the afternoons, I continue studying, preparing homilies, spiritual direction, or visiting. Sometimes there are meetings to attend. At 5.15pm, I go home and pray Evening Prayer (another reading of the psalms) with my religious brothers. After this, we have a few minutes before dinner, which is at 5.30pm. It is nice, because we get to unwind together and talk about what happened to us during the day. We eat together at home, and it really feels like I’m part of a family. In the evenings, there are meetings or prayer or study groups in the parish that I attend. 
Weekends are our busiest times. Many people come for help on Saturdays. Then, we have seven Masses all weekend. It seems like easy work to an outsider, but there is much preparation involved, especially in preparing a homily (sermon). One of the Masses is in Spanish, so I have to translate my homily, making sure to change some ideas that might not relate to the Hispanic community. I also work with our Lifeteen group on Sunday evenings, so it can be quite busy. I keep getting sent to do things that I don’t think I’m good at and God keeps giving me the gifts I need to do it. Also, many people are involved in the work of God, so we are helped very much. 
We don’t get a salary for our work—we get an allowance. Mine is $200 a month. This amount varies, depending on where we are living. If I was living in a poorer area, I would receive a smaller amount. Our housing and food are taken care of, so the money is used for our personal needs, like soap, shampoo, clothing, shoes, and things like that. We can go to the movies or out to dinner if we want. 
Education and spiritual renewal are very important for us. The Palm Beach diocese provides $1000 for education each year. As a Carmelite, I am expected to make a retreat each year, a time when I go away from my work, usually for five days, to rest, relax, and pray. We have to do this in order to have the energy to be able to serve God’s people. We have to build up our relationship with the divine in order to help others do the same.

cz:What do you like most about what you do?


I like the fact that I get to experience God in many different ways: personally, through my brothers in my religious community, through my family, and through all of the different people I meet and serve, both Catholic and non-Catholic.

cz:What has been the most rewarding experience so far in your career?

The most rewarding aspect of my job is coming to know more of God’s deep love for me and for others. I grew up with low self-esteem and always tried to please people. I believed that if I pleased people, they would like me. But I’ve grown to know that God loves me as I am and desires what is best for me, and that is rewarding. 
One of the best experiences I have had was while working as a chaplain at a hospital in Manhattan, New York two summers ago. I met this old Hungarian Jewish guy named John. I would visit him every few days, and I would try to talk to him. I found out he was an actor who had a great love of films. But he would never talk about his past. One day, I when I went to visit him, I found him crying. He told me that he had so many feelings inside, but he didn’t know how to let them out. So I suggested that he write them in a journal. 
After a few days, I went to see him. He seemed very happy, relieved. He asked me to sit down, and he said, “Emiel, you are a good man. I have something to tell you. I suffered some tremendous atrocities at the hands of the Nazis in World War II. After the war, in 1950, I came to America on a boat with a friend of mine. As my friend was getting off the boat, he was greeted by his two aunts, who said, ‘Don’t tell us anything. We read all about it in the papers.’ From that time on, I never told anyone my story, because I understood that no on cared to hear me. Let me tell you what happened.” I sat there for two hours and listened. He and I both cried. I said to myself, ah, I am in the presence of God, because this man has been enslaved for 50 years to secrecy. He is now becoming free, he is now being healed. He had been in the hospital for several months. Shortly after this experience, John returned home, free of his illness. This was one of the most rewarding experiences in my life.

cz:What do you like least about your job?

What I like least about my job is that it is not understood by most people—Catholic and non-Catholic. They think that all I do is pray all day, or that I’m a weird person, or that I’m here because I can’t have a normal relationship with another human being. I feel bad about this. I get that feedback directly from all kinds of people, especially when they are angry. It’s also prevalent in the media. 
An example of this was on a retreat at the seminary recently. One of the kids on the retreat was talking with another and said, “We’re at the cemetery.” A girl overheard him, laughed and corrected him, saying, “That’s different. We’re in the seminary. That’s a place for priests, seminarians, monks, and weird people like that.” So I said to the girl, “So you think I’m weird?” She apologized for being overheard, but said nothing more. It was clear that she thought I was weird, just like most people do. 
Other people don’t think we are weird. They think we are super holy. But our job is to help people recognize that we are all called to be holy, all the same. That’s unfortunate, too. But our life has to be in some ways misunderstood, because it is a life most people would not choose. But it helps us to identify even more with people who are misunderstood, or who experience prejudice or hatred, because we experience the same.

cz:What is the biggest challenge for you in this job?

There are many wonderful challenges that are part of this life. The first is self-awareness and self-acceptance. These are very important because if we do not know ourselves, we can miss out on the tremendous ways in which God uses us in our life. And we can miss ways in which we hurt people as well. If we do not accept ourselves, then we miss out on the gift God made to us of making us unique. If we do not accept ourselves, then we cannot help others to come to know God. If we do not develop this sense of self-appreciation, both in its positive and negative sense, then we can become judgmental and hurtful of people. We can become deaf to the needs of people, to their pains and to their needs and desires, and this is not the way God is. Nor is it how he wants us to be. 
The second challenge is learning how to live with others in the community. A lot of this has to do with communication. So we take psychology courses, and have a psychologist in the early stages of our formation, who help us communicate our needs to others. This is important to any relation, from marriage, to family life, to the religious life. 
The third challenge for me is the understanding of celibacy. One of the most misunderstood aspects of our life is that when we choose to be celibate people, they think we are not sexual people. As celibates, we are sexual in a different way. We realize the great power of sex, because it can bring about relationships and life. But we also recognize a greater power, and that is love. Love sustains life, heals and renews it. It brings back life from deadness, just as Jesus rose from the dead. We need look only at what happened with the tsunamis or with the hurricanes. Nature brought deadness to the areas affected by the storms. But love is bringing back life to these areas and to the people in them. This is why it is so important to know ourselves.

cz:What would you like to say to someone considering this career?

There are many ways in which someone can serve God, not just as a religious person or a priest. Especially now in the Catholic Church, there are many more opportunities for lay people. Having said that, I could not be anything else in my life, because it just wouldn’t be right. God has a plan for each of us, and this was his plan for me. It could also be his plan for you. Pray for guidance, and try it. If it is meant to be, it will happen.

cz:What are the most important personal and professional skills necessary to succeed in your field?

Two of the most important skills you need in this life are openness and flexibility. You have to be open to receiving God’s love and sharing it with other people. You must be willing to delve into the mystery of God and Jesus Christ, which means that you will be deeply loved, but you will also risk being deeply wounded, just like Christ. You have to learn to accept people without judgment, just like God. 
Practically speaking, you have to be a Catholic and single to be a religious. You can be either a male or a female, depending on the order or congregation you wish to join. To be a priest, you must be male, Catholic, single, and in good standing with the Church. Essentially, this means that you have to have received all of the sacraments of initiation, attend Church on a regular basis, and have any impediments that would prevent you from being ordained.

cz:What would a person interested in entering this field have to do to get a good job in it?
cz: We do not generally aspire to any positions, but those that do must show an intelligence and aptitude for leadership. It would be helpful for them to have a talent for languages, as well as a charismatic personality. They must exhibit a sense of holiness, and a deep knowledge of the faith.
cz:What could someone who is interested in this field do to learn more about it right now?

Be open to knowing yourself and to knowing God and his love. To learn more about our life you can go on the Carmelite website www.carmelite.org. You can contact the diocesan vocation director, Gavin Badway at P.O. Bo 109650, 9995 Military Trail, Palm Beach Gardens, FL 33410 (561) 775-9555. The other thing is talk to any priest or religious person about their experiences.

cz:Is there any general advice you would like to offer to students on making a career choice or on work life itself?

Do what will make you happy. Do not focus on how much money you will make, or work only for the weekends, because you will be wasting your life just for a couple of days of happiness. Instead, focus on what will make you the best, happiest, and most loving person you can be. And remember, God is in charge, so you don’t have to worry. Leave everything to him.

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